| I'm doing the unthinkable... I'm returning to Xanga. But not for reasons that you would think. Let me explain: My first semester at Rice was amazing, granted I didn't do as well as I'd hoped for (a 4.0), but what I ended up with was pretty damn good for a first timer at a prestigious university who had doubts! Regardless, I didn't have to write a single paper last semester or read a single novel. This semester, I'm stepping up my game. 18 hours. It's been nuts. These 18 hours include Philosophy, an English class, and Women's History. All fields that I have not touched upon in a really long time. Recently, I had to read Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad for my English class. Following the reading, I had to read a critical article on this novel. Then, I had to write a precis on this article, a summary and analysis. Sounds simple enough right? Apparently not. It took me the longest time to let my thoughts flow and to write out a legitimate sentence. All in all it was a piece of crap. Luckily, my professor was nice enough to proofread our drafts and give us feedback. And boy, did he give me feedback. He sent me a LONG e-mail back telling me to fix a lot of basic things that I would not have had trouble with in the past. I fixed up what I could and turned it into class today. But in class, the discussion was brutal. I could barely put in my 2 cents... that is if I had anything to say. I basically felt like the biggest dumbass in the world (or at Rice). So the point is, I suck at reading, writing, getting my thoughts together, and putting together connections. So I thought to myself, this wasn't a problem before, and it can't solely be because I'm sick this week. What did I used to do that could have helped me with my thought processing? Oh wait, XANGA! I mean think about it, I wrote some pretty deep shit back in the day. Albeit, they were pretty emo and depressing, but deep nonetheless. Even my daily ruminations were pretty decent. So basically, I'm using Xanga as an exercise in writing. Writing this, I can already tell its not well written. So disappointing... But oh well, more to come. |
